 It’s easy to label people; He’s a nerd, she’s smart, he’s dumb, he’s nice, she’s a bully, etc. Labeling helps us simplify an often complex world and creates a sense of safety and belonging for those who can’t find it anywhere else. Unfortunately, far from solving the problem, such behavior often makes it much worse. When we label others and try to put them into boxes, we lose so much of what makes them, them. We miss out. And we send the message that they will never be anything else, for better or worse.
Begin the activity by reading through This is A. Blob. Talk about what can be learned about the main character through the story. Were there any surprises? How would it change the story if other children in the book knew about A. Blob’s secret? Can they think of a few people in their own life about whom they have made assumptions? Have others made assumptions about them? What did this mean for their relationships and the way they treated others and themselves? The ActivityFollowing discussion, give each student a piece of lined paper with a space to draw a picture (download templates here). Instruct them to write about something that most other students don’t know about them and include a picture (it can be hand-drawn or pasted in). For example, are they a great big brother? Do they take dance classes? Do they love cooking special dishes with their grandmother? Be sure to note that this should be something they are comfortable sharing and shouldn’t be anything too personal.
Next, give each student a cartoon person to color and design to resemble themselves (download template here). Finally, cut the picture in half and glue the edges to the written stories to make two flaps. If you have the time, allow students to present their projects to the class. Following presentations, have students either write or discuss what they learned and how or if it changed the way they viewed their peers. Will this change the way they approach other relationships?
It’s easy to label people. Getting to know people takes time and vulnerability. It takes patience and the willingness to admit you were wrong sometimes. However, it is the first big step in resolving a multitude of issues such as prejudice and bullying. Once we learn all the things about each other that are different than we thought, the more we can begin to discover all the things that are the same. I hope you enjoy this activity and it helps bring your classroom closer together. What are some fun things about yourself that not many people know? Share in the comments!
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________  This is A. Blob is a masterfully illustrated picture book suitable for children ages 4-8. Written by Lori Kefalos, author of several animated shorts, including “Who’s that Knocking,” “Chug,” and “Croc, Pots and Wildebeests,” which was nominated for Best Independent Short Short, Ages 5-8, at the 2009 Kid’s First Film Festival and for best short at The Los Angeles Women’s International Film Festival, This is A. Blob is the first of a series following this bully. This first installment follows the antics of A. Blob, a slimy, purple, blob-like creature who wreaks havoc on the elementary school playground with its bullying ways. As the story progresses, however, readers learn that A. Blob may have more than meets the eye. Along with its powerful illustrations and rhymed verse for early readers, this story invites children to put themselves in the shoes of another and encourages readers to consider why bullies behave the way they do – and start to consider what can be done to help.
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  “We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.” ― Abraham Lincoln I was reminded of this quote by our 16th President as I attempted to complete the poetry challenge set forth in last week’s blog. Trying to gain some inspiration, I read several poems written in the same forwards-backwards style of the challenge and I was struck with just how much a simple change of perspective can alter our outlook and attitude entirely.
Instead of viewing the world in black and white, we must allow ourselves to see in radiant Technicolor. Some might view such thinking as little more than a way to let bad behavior go unpunished; however, I would disagree. Taking the time to see things from someone else’s perspective is, instead, a way to let good behavior find its way out. It is a way to cut bad behavior off at its source. Looking for the positive doesn’t dismiss the negative; it simply doesn’t allow it to take control. We can’t make every person and every bad situation better, but we can choose not to despair. This challenge was a stretch for me, but I’m so glad to have taken it on. Not only did it stretch and sharpen my skills as a writer, it reminded me to slow down, step back, and look for a new perspective. I hope it has done the same for you! So, without further ado, here is my forwards-backwards poem:
*** Let us know what you thought of the poem in the comments below. If any of you have taken up the challenge, please feel free to share your work, as well! _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 This is A. Blob is a masterfully illustrated picture book suitable for children ages 4-8. This first installment in a series follows the antics of A. Blob, a slimy, purple, blob-like creature who wreaks havoc on the elementary school playground with its bullying ways. As the story progresses, however, readers learn that there might be more to A. Blob than meets the eye. Along with its powerful illustrations and rhymed verse for early readers, this story invites children to put themselves in the shoes of another. The book demonstrates that a bully can come in any shape, size, or color and encourages readers to consider why bullies behave the way they do – and start to consider what can be done to help.
 Extending stories into classroom activities is always a fun and effective way to help children remember what they’ve just read and establish a deeper connection with the lessons of books. When I found this recipe for chocolate pretzel treats, I knew right away that they would make a perfect extension for the picture book, This is A. Blob, by L.A. Kefalos. Not only are they affordable and easy to make, they look exactly like the gooey, purple main character of the story!
In the picture book, This is A. Blob, by L.A. Kefalos, we are introduced to an interesting character named A. Blob that looks a little…different than the other students. When we first see A. Blob, it’s acting less than kind, punching, oozing, stealing lunches, and being a general bully. As the story progresses, however, we learn that perhaps there is more to A. Blob than meets the eye. Through this simple story, children will learn about why people bully, the importance of empathy, and that bullying never solves problems. Here’s what you’ll need to create your own A. Blob treats:
I purchased my candy at a local bulk-candy store. However, you should be able to find white melting chocolate at most grocery stores. If you don’t see the color you need, simply melt the chocolate and add a little food coloring! If you aren’t able to get your hands on any candy eyes, mini marshmallows and a dot of chocolate will do just fine! Directions
If you don't have a microwave, you can easily improvise a double boiler with a pan, water, and a glass bowl. Simply fill the pan with a small amount of water and place the glass bowl into the pan so there is about 1-2 inches between the water and the glass bowl. Bring the water to a gentle boil and let it simmer. Add the chocolate to the glass bowl and stir until melted.
As you and your students mix up your own delicious A. Blob treats, take the time to discuss what “ingredients” went into making A. Blob act the way it did. When you pour the yummy, sweet chocolate over the hard, salty pretzels, talk about ways we can respond to difficult situations with kindness. Ask questions such as “would these treats taste very good if we poured something sour over them, like vinegar? What if we just added more salt?” In the same way, responding to bullying with bullying will just make a yucky mess.  When the time comes to give A. Blob its candy eyes, talk about the importance of empathy and looking through the eyes of others. How could empathy have helped A. Blob and the other students? How can we all use empathy in our everyday lives? What are ways we can look through the eyes of others? Finally, when the treats are finished, remind your students that we all deal with difficult things in our lives and, like the chocolate covered pretzels, these hard things are often hidden inside. We can’t always tell by looking at people that they are hurting. That is why it is so important to treat everyone with kindness—even bullies! *** I hope you and your students have fun making these A. Blob treats and that they bring a little sweetness to your day! Let us know in the comments how yours turn out! _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 I don’t know about you, but when I think of summer, I think of blockbuster films. I’m instantly transported back to warm summer nights at the drive-in, sitting under the stars and watching epic stories unfold. As a child, it felt like I could be and do just about anything as I watched those fantastic characters dance across the screen. As we discussed in an earlier blog, while filled with many wonderful things, summertime can also be filled with bullying and unkindness. Even during the summer months, it is important to continue working on building kindness and empathy. This doesn’t mean fun has to take a backseat, though! There are plenty of ways to build social/emotional skills while enjoying all your favorite summertime activities—including going to the movies!  Image from Illumination Entertainment One fun new movie that recently hit theaters is an animated film called The Secret Life of Pets. In this movie, we humans are given a rare glimpse into what our pets think and do when we aren’t around. Children get to see how their animals might feel when they get left at home and how they might react when placed in a difficult scenario, providing the perfect opportunity to begin a conversation about empathy and the importance of considering the thoughts and opinions of others. Inspired by the movie, I decided to create another movie-based empathy-building activity called: The Secret Life Of…In The Secret Life of Pets, we get to look at life through the eyes of our pets. This activity takes it one step further and allows children to step into the shoes of any character they like best! Step 1: Choose a characterHave your child pick a character from a book or movie. This can be any character, however, it works best if children choose someone they have seen or read about recently.
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This is A. Blob is a masterfully illustrated picture book suitable for children ages 4-8. Written by Lori Kefalos, author of several animated shorts, including “Who’s that Knocking,” “Chug,” and “Croc, Pots and Wildebeests,” which was nominated for Best Independent Short Short, Ages 5-8, at the 2009 Kid’s First Film Festival and for best short at The Los Angeles Women’s International Film Festival, This is A. Blob is the first of a series following this bully.
This first installment follows the antics of A. Blob, a slimy, purple, blob-like creature who wreaks havoc on the elementary school playground with its bullying ways. As the story progresses, however, readers learn that A. Blob may have more than meets the eye.
Along with its powerful illustrations and rhymed verse for early readers, this story invites children to put themselves in the shoes of another. The book encourages readers to consider why bullies behave the way they do – and start to consider what can be done to help.
This first installment follows the antics of A. Blob, a slimy, purple, blob-like creature who wreaks havoc on the elementary school playground with its bullying ways. As the story progresses, however, readers learn that A. Blob may have more than meets the eye.
Along with its powerful illustrations and rhymed verse for early readers, this story invites children to put themselves in the shoes of another. The book encourages readers to consider why bullies behave the way they do – and start to consider what can be done to help.
 | BOOK 2 NOW AVAILABLE! A. Blob is back, and this time it's on a bus! As the slimy bully pokes and pesters the children of Lincoln Elementary School, it seems like they will never be able to ride the bus in peace. That is, until one brave girl takes stand. Can one act of bravery change everything--including A. Blob? Find out in this second installment of The Blob Series! |
When trials come, at times in what seems like waves, it can be difficult to maintain a positive attitude. It can feel like the world is falling to pieces, like somehow evil is winning out, and all we can do is stand by helplessly and watch it dissolve. How can we conquer such looming troubles? How can we defeat such giants? It seems as though we’re always waiting for someone to take charge and solve everything, but it never happens, or at least not quickly enough.
Anne Frank once wrote: “How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world”. In her tragic situation, she was able to recognize that it is not only the large actions that matter, but the small ones, as well; that a secretary can change the life of an entire family. A person could do their part right now, right where they are.
| Never doubt that the smallest of actions can have an impact on the world. Can one ant build a colony? No; but 100 can. Can one bee feed a village? No; but together, a hive can. Great buildings are constructed one brick at a time. Those big organizations that fight poverty and hunger? They are made up of regular individuals who made the choice one day to show up and do whatever they could to help. We will never accomplish great things or overcome injustices alone. We will never do it all at once, but that doesn’t make it impossible, and it doesn’t mean we should give up. |    |
It’s a story that has been told a thousand times, but today it still rings true: A boy walked along a beach, throwing back the starfish that had washed ashore. A man saw what he was doing and said “Don’t waste your time, kid. You’ll never get to all of them, so it doesn’t matter.” The boy looked at the starfish in his hand and threw it into the sea. “It mattered to that one.”
It’s important to remember that, just because the war hasn’t been won, doesn’t mean the battles don’t matter. It’s important to remember that each and every time goodness and kindness prevail, it’s a victory. You told one person today that they matter? Victory. You paid for one family’s dinner so they didn’t have to go to bed hungry tonight? Victory. You stood up for a child who was being bullied? Victory. Each and every time kindness wins it means that, this time, cruelty did not.
We are simply a small publishing company, but our hope is that the books we publish are able to make those small, vital, victories possible. We hope that they spread a little more kindness and teach a little more empathy each time they’re opened. We hope they bring a little more joy into this world.
Maybe hate and bullying can never be eradicated, but that does not mean we should stop striving towards that goal. Did you stop someone from feeling like they were worthless? Did you comfort someone who was in pain? Did you read a quiet story to a child, letting him know you loved him and that he was important? I can guarantee you, it mattered to that one.
Maybe hate and bullying can never be eradicated, but that does not mean we should stop striving towards that goal. Did you stop someone from feeling like they were worthless? Did you comfort someone who was in pain? Did you read a quiet story to a child, letting him know you loved him and that he was important? I can guarantee you, it mattered to that one.
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At Laughing Leopard Press, we’re interested in publishing works by authors who have a story to tell or contribute to understanding our world. Our most recent publication, This is A. Blob, by L.A. Kefalos is a picture book that does just that. With its vibrant illustrations, unique characters, and compelling story line, this book helps children learn the concepts of bullying, empathy, and the importance of kindness while they are still young, preparing them to face--and change--the world around them.
Be curious, not judgmental
-Walt Whitman
I love this quote by Walt Whitman because it gets at something we don’t often discuss when dealing with the issue of tolerance. In an effort to avoid being judgmental, we sometimes throw the baby out with the bath water, viewing everyone and everything through the same lens—or not viewing them at all.
When teaching kids not to bully, we sometimes tell them that everyone is the same, but this is just not true. Everyone is not the same--thank goodness—and it’s important that we teach children to celebrate, not ignore, differences. This begins by encouraging curiosity.
When teaching kids not to bully, we sometimes tell them that everyone is the same, but this is just not true. Everyone is not the same--thank goodness—and it’s important that we teach children to celebrate, not ignore, differences. This begins by encouraging curiosity.
Curious : Eager to know, inquisitive
The definition of “curious” is “eager to know, inquisitive”. If you’ve ever spent time with a child, you know that this trait comes naturally. Everything is new, everything is exciting, and with this novelty comes a natural desire to learn and understand. Though they learn in many ways, the primary way children discover the world around them is by asking questions. As I’m sure you also know, these questions aren’t usually filtered.
Photo credit: Patrick Giblin/Flickr
Unlike adults, children don’t know what questions they’re “not supposed to ask”. They don’t know they aren’t supposed to ask why another child’s skin is darker or lighter than theirs. They don’t know they aren’t supposed to ask why a person “talks funny”. They don’t know they aren’t supposed to ask why someone gets around by sitting in a moving chair. So, they ask—much to the embarrassment of their parents. It’s not an uncommon site to see a parent harshly shushing a child and dragging him or her away quickly as they flash an apologetic look at the person in question. The question is…why?
The answer is usually backed by good intentions. Parents may scold their children for asking these “taboo” questions because they want them to focus instead on the things we all have in common. While this isn’t necessarily a bad goal, it can have some unintentional consequences. For starters, when we completely discount diversity, we imply that differences are bad; something to be ignored and hidden. Additionally, we have a tendency to fear what we do not know. How much more will children fear unknown differences when they are coupled with the idea that differences are bad?
| Another cause of parental shushing is the fear that curiosity will become judgment. In reality, the opposite is often true; judgment arises when curiosity is squelched. When adults ignore important questions, children must form their own answers—and these may or may not be correct. The issue worsens when they do hear an opinion, and that opinion is filled with prejudice and stereotypes. |  |
Perhaps the most common reason parents discourage the curiosity of their children is for fear of hurting the feelings of another. While a child will rarely point out a difference out of meanness, the person to whom they are referring may still feel uncomfortable being singled out or may be painfully reminded of the many times they were made fun of or excluded for their difference.
So what is the solution? The truth is, when dealing with children, it’s impossible to avoid all embarrassing situations. However, there are ways to minimize hurt feelings while still encouraging natural curiosity. Here are a few basic guidelines:
Perhaps the most common reason parents discourage the curiosity of their children is for fear of hurting the feelings of another. While a child will rarely point out a difference out of meanness, the person to whom they are referring may still feel uncomfortable being singled out or may be painfully reminded of the many times they were made fun of or excluded for their difference.
So what is the solution? The truth is, when dealing with children, it’s impossible to avoid all embarrassing situations. However, there are ways to minimize hurt feelings while still encouraging natural curiosity. Here are a few basic guidelines:
| -In private, talk about simple courtesies, such as not pointing. Explain that it’s ok to wonder about another person, but some people are very shy or have been teased in the past and they can feel uncomfortable when strangers point or talk about them. Let your child know that they can ask you questions, but, out of respect for others, sometimes it’s best to wait until you are both in a private place and together you can seek out good resources and people to help you learn. -Be honest about differences. Explain to your child how differences are good and necessary—not something to ignore. -Whenever possible, after speaking to you first, encourage your children to ask their questions directly to the person about whom they are curious. Obviously, this must be someone you know well enough to know they are comfortable with being questioned. What better way to learn about a person than by asking that person themselves? -Discuss stereotypes openly with your children. What are they? Where did they come from? What is the truth? | -When children (and adults!) don’t understand something, they can become afraid of it and avoid it. This can lead to kids keeping away from those who are different than them. Discuss fears your child might have about the person that is different. One of the best remedies for fear is the truth. The more we know about something, the less scary it becomes. -Be sure to treat each person as an individual. One person with a certain nationality or hair color or ability level will not necessarily be like another person like that. Encourage your child to see each new person as an exciting new story to be discovered. -Make a point to take notice of the unique qualities of the people and things all around. Encourage your child’s natural curiosity and help them learn the right way to satisfy it by applying questions to non-human things. For example: “I notice this ladybug is red, but this one is yellow. I wonder why? I bet those colors help each ladybug in a special way. Let’s go get a book and find out!” |
As adults, it’s easy to think we have it all figured out; that we know all there is to know. However, just like squelching the questions of children, believing we know it all can rob us of the joy of learning something new and wonderful about the people around us. So today, ask questions. Look at things from a new perspective.
Be curious.
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 | Who--or what--is A. Blob? Spark your child's curiosity with This is A. Blob, a beautifully illustrated tale of a unique bully's antics. Discover that A. Blob and, perhaps others like him, may not be exactly what they seem. Lesson plan for teachers or discussion questions for other adults accompany an order. For ages 4-8. |
 | BOOK 2 NOW AVAILABLE! A. Blob is back, and this time it's on a bus! As the slimy bully pokes and pesters the children of Lincoln Elementary School, it seems like they will never be able to ride the bus in peace. That is, until one brave girl takes stand. Can one act of bravery change everything--including A. Blob? Find out in this second installment of The Blob Series! |
“Hello! My name is Mrs. Smith and this is ___...”
“Hello! My name is Mrs. Smith and this is ___...”
It’s a phrase I am sure many of us have heard on multiple occasions. We meet a new person and then she introduces us to her friend, giving a name followed by a quick, descriptive tidbit about her, such as “This is Jane, my assistant teacher. She’s been just great building the art program this year.”
It’s a phrase I am sure many of us have heard on multiple occasions. We meet a new person and then she introduces us to her friend, giving a name followed by a quick, descriptive tidbit about her, such as “This is Jane, my assistant teacher. She’s been just great building the art program this year.”
Unfortunately, with so many new faces to meet, we rarely move too far beyond this initial elevator speech. Even more regrettably, this issue isn’t restricted to the adult world. The same situation often occurs with children who prefer to stick to those students they know rather than find new playmates. While it may seem harmless, such surface-based relationships often lead to misunderstanding, hurt feelings, and even bullying. It’s a lot harder to hate or hurt someone when you actually know them; when they are more than a face and a label.
This is why we have created the “This is…” Project.
Inspired by the picture book This is A. Blob, by L.A. Kefalos, the “This is…”Project is a fun and easy way to build relationships and discourage exclusion in a group environment. While it’s designed for classrooms or large groups, any two people can try it!
Here's what you’ll need:
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The Introduction
Begin by reading the picture book, This is A. Blob by L.A. Kefalos as a class. As the title suggests, this book explores the labels others use to define us, as well as the way our actions define ourselves. In the book, the narrator opens by stating “This is A. Blob. A slimy, purple gob.” Throughout the rest of the picture book, the narrator uses different words to describe A. Blob, such as “punk” and “thug”.
 This is A. Blob, by L.A. Kefalos |  This is A. Blob, by L.A. Kefalos |
Vivid illustrations of A. Blob punching and sliming children on the playground drive these descriptions home. As the story progresses, however, the narrator reveals a different side to A. Blob, now using just one word to describe it--“lonely”. Images of A. Blob staring at a wall and sitting alone on the playground hint that there may be more to A. Blob than meets the eye.
The Connection
When reading This is A. Blob as a class, pause after the first description of A. Blob. What do the students think of this character? What assumptions do they make? Why? Write these thoughts down on the chalkboard. Encourage them to really dig deep in their observations. For example, A. Blob likes to play catch and it does NOT like green or pink!!
After each additional description, add assumptions to the list. At the end of the story, have students observe how their perceptions have changed. Ask students: What do they think of A. Blob now? How have their opinions changed and why?
After each additional description, add assumptions to the list. At the end of the story, have students observe how their perceptions have changed. Ask students: What do they think of A. Blob now? How have their opinions changed and why?
Next, discuss how assumptions about A. Blob could have been avoided. Could they spend time with A. Blob? Ask it questions? How would the story be different if the other children in the story had done this? Begin discussing questions students might want to ask A. Blob to help them understand it better. Some of these questions will be used later in the project as questions for students to ask one another.
*An important note to make is that, while we have a better understanding of why A. Blob acts in the way he does, it is never ok to hurt another person, either physically or emotionally. As a class, discuss the differences between compassion and condoning.*
*An important note to make is that, while we have a better understanding of why A. Blob acts in the way he does, it is never ok to hurt another person, either physically or emotionally. As a class, discuss the differences between compassion and condoning.*
Now that the students understand the danger of making assumptions and labels, explain how this lesson translates into the classroom. Ask them, how well do they really know their classmates? Could some of the things they think they know be wrong? Remind them that when they started reading This is A. Blob, they thought they knew just what A. Blob was. They thought they knew its character. In the end, though, the story was more complex. It’s the same with people. Like icebergs, there is so much more beneath the surface.
The Project: This is…
Just as in Kefalos’ book, we often put people into boxes: “This is Jon, a soccer player. This is Kelly, a nerd. This is A. Blob, a bully…” The goal of the “This is…” project is to take control of the “This is…” statement and, rather than allowing it to be the opening of an unfair, blanket statement, turn it into a gateway to real understanding.
To get started, divide the class into pairs by randomly choosing names out of a hat. Next, have each child interview their partners. This part of the project can differ depending on the amount of time you have and the age of the participants. These questions should go beyond “what’s your favorite subject in school” Here are some sample questions:
- Tell me about your family
- What are you good at?
- What do you like to do when you’re not in school?
- What do you like about school?
- What don’t you like about school?
- Tell me about your favorite memory
- What makes you happy?
- What makes you sad?
- What makes you angry?
- What is your favorite place and why?
- If you could change one thing about the world, what would it be?
If you have the time and can get parents on board, extend the project for a couple weeks. Have partners visit each other’s favorite places, look through family photos, eat lunch together, or even volunteer together. At the end, each partner will write up a small report along with a drawn or printed picture featuring their partner and some of the facts that have been learned about them. I have inserted a template here, but you can feel free to get as creative as you like! Each partnership will then present their findings to the class.
A. Blob's "This is..." Project!
Once the projects are complete, have students reflect. What did they learn about their classmates that they didn’t know before? What about their partner surprised them? Did they discover they had previously made some false assumptions? How will this project impact the way they treat and interact with others?
At the end of the presentation, put all of the projects on display under the heading “This is…Our Class”
I hope this project provides you with a fun way to break down walls and build deeper relationships in your classroom! Let us know if you try it out! What are some other ways to discourage assumptions and build community? Let us know in the comments.
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This is A. Blob is a masterfully illustrated picture book suitable for children ages 4-8. Written by Lori Kefalos, author of several animated shorts, including “Who’s that Knocking,” “Chug,” and “Croc, Pots and Wildebeests,” which was nominated for Best Independent Short Short, Ages 5-8, at the 2009 Kid’s First Film Festival and for best short at The Los Angeles Women’s International Film Festival, This is A. Blob is the first of a series following this bully. This first installment follows the antics of A. Blob, a slimy, purple, blob-like creature who wreaks havoc on the elementary school playground with its bullying ways. As the story progresses, however, readers learn that A. Blob may have more than meets the eye. Along with its powerful illustrations and rhymed verse for early readers, this story invites children to put themselves in the shoes of another. The book encourages readers to consider why bullies behave the way they do – and start to consider what can be done to help.
 | BOOK 2 NOW AVAILABLE! A. Blob is back, and this time it's on a bus! As the slimy bully pokes and pesters the children of Lincoln Elementary School, it seems like they will never be able to ride the bus in peace. That is, until one brave girl takes stand. Can one act of bravery change everything--including A. Blob? Find out in this second installment of The Blob Series! |
Love.
It’s what Valentine’s Day is all about. Roses, candy, sweet notes, and everything beautiful. That’s what love is, right? Well…sometimes. But sometimes, love isn’t like that at all. Sometimes love is tears, heartache, and vulnerability. Sometimes it’s biting tongues, saying hard things, and forgiving in difficult times. You see, somewhere along the way we forgot something:
Love isn’t easy.
Actually, love is often pretty hard. Love, real love, means caring for someone and wanting their well-being, even when they aren’t very likeable. It means sometimes sacrificing your own happiness for the happiness of someone else. True love means feeling the hurts of another as if they were your own hurts. As C.S. Lewis wrote, “To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken… To love is to be vulnerable”.
Despite this, we continue to search and even fight for love. Why? Because, although love can be incredibly difficult, it is also one of the most powerful forces in this world. Love has the power to strengthen, lift up, change, and inspire people to heights never before reached. Love has an almost magical way of making the difficult bits not so difficult. When we love someone, we want to sacrifice for them. Even when they hurt us, we want to see them be the best and happiest they can be, because we love them.
"Love is the voice under all silences, the hope which has no opposite in fear; the strength so strong mere force is feebleness: the truth more first than sun, more last than star."
-- E.E. cummings
-- E.E. cummings
You might ask why I’m talking about the difficult side of love right before Valentine’s Day. Why point out the cloud in an otherwise sunny sky? Because to ignore the difficult side of love is to do it a disservice. Believing that love is all warm feelings and roses is to severely underestimate its strength, power, and beauty.
In light of that, I want to pose a question: during this holiday where we like to celebrate the people we love, can we find room to love the people we don’t like? Can we do the difficult loving before we are able to experience that warm glow that makes it feel worthwhile?
In light of that, I want to pose a question: during this holiday where we like to celebrate the people we love, can we find room to love the people we don’t like? Can we do the difficult loving before we are able to experience that warm glow that makes it feel worthwhile?
Can we love bullies?
I know what you’re thinking: “Why—no, how—could I love someone who purposefully hurts others, not once, but over and over again?” I can’t imagine the pain of watching your child be bullied day in and day out. I can’t imagine what it feels like to see them come home from school in tears because of what another child said to them. I do know, however, that love has changed more hearts, behavior, and lives than hate or rejection ever has.
| People-and especially children- have a tendency to rise or fall to the bars we set for them. When we write someone off as a “bad kid” or punish them without any follow up, we are saying “YOU are bad. This is who YOU are.” When we love someone despite their difficulties we are saying “You’ve done something bad, but YOU are worth loving. You are someone worth fighting for.” |  |
Don’t misunderstand me- bullying behavior should not be condoned. Children who bully must be taught that such behavior is unacceptable, but love doesn’t signify approval for actions; instead it demonstrates a belief in the person behind those actions. Discipline and guidance, though they don’t feel like it, are some of the most loving things we can do for children. Love can be hard, but only because it wants the best. Love is such a powerful force. It would be wasteful to only use it on those we liked and, if we’re honest, if we only gave love to the purely good, I imagine we would all be bankrupt.
We like to think of love as soft, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. Real love is strong. Real love doesn’t give up when the going gets tough. It sticks around. It waits. It helps when it can. It loves even when it does not like.
No, love isn’t easy, but it is worth it.
***
So here is my challenge to you this Valentine’s Day: love someone who has not been kind to you. Try it, just once, and see what happens. If you try it out, let us know how it went in the comments below!
| |  |  |
 | For a great book that helps introduce children to the idea of loving those who may act unkindly, check out This is A. Blob by L.A. Kefalos. This masterfully illustrated picture book is suitable for children ages 4-8. This is A. Blob is the first of a series following the antics of A. Blob, a slimy, purple, blob-like creature who wreaks havoc on the elementary school playground with its bullying ways. As the story progresses, however, readers learn that there may be more to A. Blob than meets the eye. Along with its powerful illustrations and rhymed verse for early readers, this story invites children to put themselves in the shoes of another. The book encourages readers to consider why bullies behave the way they do – and start to consider what can be done to help |
 | BOOK 2 NOW AVAILABLE! A. Blob is back, and this time it's on a bus! As the slimy bully pokes and pesters the children of Lincoln Elementary School, it seems like they will never be able to ride the bus in peace. That is, until one brave girl takes stand. Can one act of bravery change everything--including A. Blob? Find out in this second installment of The Blob Series! |
Last week we talked about a quote from Stephen Covey and how it can be applied to bullying prevention. Covey stated: “If you want to achieve something you’ve never achieved before, you have to do something you’ve never done before.” In the past 15 years, we have seen an encouraging increase in awareness of the true dangers of bullying. However, bullying continues to be a significant problem in schools today. In last week’s post, I posed the question: can Covey’s theory be applied to bullying prevention? If we approach bullying in a new way, would we see new results? I believe the answer is YES.
Last week we talked about a quote from Stephen Covey and how it can be applied to bullying prevention. Covey stated: “If you want to achieve something you’ve never achieved before, you have to do something you’ve never done before.” In the past 15 years, we have seen an encouraging increase in awareness of the true dangers of bullying. However, bullying continues to be a significant problem in schools today. In last week’s post, I posed the question: can Covey’s theory be applied to bullying prevention? If we approach bullying in a new way, would we see new results? I believe the answer is YES.
It’s not uncommon for schools to set goals for their students, including the goal to END BULLYING! This is a noble, if not large, goal. However, it’s somewhat vague. Though they’re young, children can and should set BIG goals, but it’s important that we help them to break those larger goals down into smaller, measurable short term goals. To help get you on your way to achieving things you’ve never achieved before, this week I will be sharing 6 specific, measureable goals to creating a bully free environment!
1. The Goal: A Word A Day
This may sound simple and perhaps even cliché, but words truly have incredible power. Set the goal to say one kind thing to someone each day. Encourage students to use their words of kindness on someone they don’t know very well and to think outside the box, going beyond external compliments, such as “I like your shoes!” Of course, such compliments are always lovely to receive, but we want to raise children that are able to see a multitude of good qualities in their peers, not only what’s on the outside
As a class, come up with a list of unique compliments, such as “you are kind”, “you were brave today when you volunteered to solve that problem in front of the class”, “You have good taste in books” or “you have a great imagination”.
As a class, come up with a list of unique compliments, such as “you are kind”, “you were brave today when you volunteered to solve that problem in front of the class”, “You have good taste in books” or “you have a great imagination”.
A fun way to track kind words!
The Measurement: There are many ways to measure progress on this goal and, depending on the time you have available and the learning style of your students, you can choose one or all of them. For visual learners, create a word board where students can write words of kindness they spoke or received. If you want to keep things more anonymous, or would just like to get into more detail, have your students write in a journal for 10 minutes (or however much time you can set aside) reflecting on the progress of their goal. You can write back to them and guide them as they move forward. If you are short on time (and who isn’t??), you could do something as simple as have a checklist of daily goals, including speaking a word of kindness, that students fill out at the end of the day. Meet with students one on one occasionally to chat about how they’re doing and how they can improve.
2. The Goal: Including others
It’s easy to stick with the same group of people, but this can sometimes leave others left out and alone. Set the goal to include someone new in at least one activity each week. This could be as simple as inviting someone to sit at the lunch table or could go as far as inviting a new friend over to play. To keep students accountable and avoid getting lost in a sea of vagueness, have your children write down a specific activity at the beginning of the week. It can be the same for the whole class or vary by individual.
The Measurement: Depending on the age of your students, this is a great opportunity to explore their creativity and integrate some other subject lessons along the way. Younger children could draw a picture of their experience while older students could write it out in story fashion, practicing writing and storytelling skills.
Keeping a journal is also always useful to track progress while simultaneously building writing skills. Encourage students to write about their expectations for new experience beforehand and then reflect on the actual experience later, comparing and contrasting the reality to the belief. This is a fantastic exercise to reveal some of our preconceived notions and to help students learn that there is usually more to most people than meets the eye.
Keeping a journal is also always useful to track progress while simultaneously building writing skills. Encourage students to write about their expectations for new experience beforehand and then reflect on the actual experience later, comparing and contrasting the reality to the belief. This is a fantastic exercise to reveal some of our preconceived notions and to help students learn that there is usually more to most people than meets the eye.
3. The Goal: Thinking about words and their effects
We’ve all experienced that moment where we said something out of hurt or anger without really thinking. We’ve probably all been on the receiving end of that experience, as well. Set the goal as a class to become more mindful of the words that we say and the effect that they have on others. If you feel like getting creative, make bracelets as a class and wear them as a reminder to think before speaking.
The Measurement: As with the previous goals, keeping a journal is a fantastic way to remain accountable and track progress. As they reflect on their days, encourage students to pay special attention to the words they spoke and received and to consider the effects of those words, as well as why they may have been spoken.
Since the goal is to become more aware of all words and their effects, encourage students to write down their observations of conversations outside of their own, as well as their personal interactions. What do characters on T.V. say? How do other characters react? How do the words of the characters affect the viewer? At the end of the journal entry, have students write down what they learned from the reflection and what they will do to make tomorrow’s interactions better. Are they becoming more aware of the power of words?
4. The Goal: Become an Upstander.
Studies show that bullying behavior ended within 10 seconds of peer intervention 56% of the time. Standing up to bullying lets the bully know his or her behavior is not ok, provides strength in numbers, and lets the victim know he or she is not alone. However, standing up can also be very scary. As a class, discuss why people might be afraid to take a stand against bullying and work through those fears.
 | While it would be difficult to set the goal of standing up to bullies since it’s impossible to predict when such a situation would arise, set the goal of practicing standing up to bullies each week so that it becomes less frightening and more of a natural reaction. Create bullying scenarios and responses and for a few minutes each week, have students act out these scenes and practice standing up against bullying. Talk about the various and sometimes subtle ways people bully. The more educated students are on how to recognize and react to bullying, the better prepared they will be to step in when a situation arises. |
After a while, I would encourage you to take parts of the script away. Provide lines for the bully, but have the victims and bystanders improvise their responses. At the end of the role play session, have students reflect on how they think they did and what they could have done differently. That is their goal for the next week.
The Measurement: Before beginning the above discussions and training, have students fill out a survey detailing whether or not they would stand up to a bully, how they might react to a bullying situation, and the reasoning behind their thoughts and actions. At intervals throughout the year, give the survey again and see what progress has been made. Do students feel more prepared? Are they exhibiting less fear? What areas still need improvement? At the end of each role-play session, have a short discussion to assess whether or not the students changed what they wanted to change from the previous week.
5. The Goal: Increasing Kindness.
This is a fun and simple one. Kindness is contagious and can go a surprisingly long way towards ending bullying. It’s a lot harder to be mean to someone who is consistently kind to you, and a child is less likely to bully when his or her emotional needs are being met. As a class, come up with a list of acts of kindness that can be achieved throughout the year. Some can be broad, such as opening the door for the person behind you, and some can be specific, such as choosing a random student in the class and bringing him or her a special treat or writing a kind note.
The Measurement: There are many ways to count your random acts of kindness. Here is an idea borrowed from the book Service Learning in the Pre K-3 Classroom, by Vickie E. Lake, Ph.D, and Ithel Jones, Ed.DA . Lake and Jones suggest drawing out goals to help younger children to visualize what they would like to accomplish. For example, on strips of paper, have the students draw a variety of random acts of kindness they would like to achieve. As they accomplish the acts, move the strip of paper from one side of the board to the other. At the end of each week, students can count how many goals have been met and create a paper chain with the strips. As the acts of kindness grow, so will the chain, providing a concrete measure of achievement.
6. The Goal: In My Shoes.
Bullying is sometimes the result of a lack of understanding or a lack of empathy. To build these skills, set the goal of learning more about everyone in the classroom by the end of year. One way to do this is to name a “student of the week” (or student of the day, depending on how many students you need to get through or the length of your school year). The goal of the week is to learn more about that student by the end of the week than you did at the beginning. Set a goal of how many new things the class should learn about that student. Throughout the week, students may ask the student of the week questions to get to know him or her better.
Encourage students to sit with the student of the week at lunch or play together at recess. To avoid bombarding that student, be sure to set boundaries such as: no swarming the student of the week, no talking during class time, etc. For shyer students, interactions could take place through letters, as well. Encourage the children to learn through observation as well as conversation. For example, “I observed Sophie during recess and learned that she is very good at kickball.” Make it clear that all observations and interactions are to be kind and be on the lookout for any negative interactions.
The Measurement: Provide students with a sheet of paper with two columns. One column will be labeled “What I know about BLANK” and the other “What I want to know about BLANK”. At the end of the week, write the new observations on the board and count them up. Did you reach your goal?
Though some of these ideas may seem unrelated to bullying, remember that we are trying to break the abstract “end bullying” into more tangible, concrete goals that will create habits of kindness so that bullying is no longer a go-to action for children. These goals strive to dig in and address the root causes of bullying as well as to instill habits of kindness and spirits of empathy. A good deal of bullying occurs in schools, right under the noses of teachers. We want to train children that will choose kindness, even when there are no rules telling them they have to.
As you work through these goals with your students or children, help them to understand how these smaller, short term goals can help them to reach a larger, long term goal. In addition to the measurement tools outlined above, there are many more fun, creative ways to do this! You can create charts, timelines, or even use computer programs to track your progress. Students could use observation, surveys, interviews, and a variety of other techniques to learn if their short term goals are helping them to reach their long term one.
Would you try these goals in your classroom? What new approaches to bullying prevention would you like to try in the new year? How will you measure progress? Let us know in the comments!
Would you try these goals in your classroom? What new approaches to bullying prevention would you like to try in the new year? How will you measure progress? Let us know in the comments!
| |
 | |  |
 | This is A. Blob is a masterfully illustrated picture book suitable for children ages 4-8. This first installment in a series follows the antics of A. Blob, a slimy, purple, blob-like creature who wreaks havoc on the elementary school playground with its bullying ways. As the story progresses, however, readers learn that there might be more to A. Blob than meets the eye. Along with its powerful illustrations and rhymed verse for early readers, this story invites children to put themselves in the shoes of another. The book demonstrates that a bully can come in any shape, size, or color and encourages readers to consider why bullies behave the way they do – and start to consider what can be done to help. |
 | BOOK 2 NOW AVAILABLE! A. Blob is back, and this time it's on a bus! As the slimy bully pokes and pesters the children of Lincoln Elementary School, it seems like they will never be able to ride the bus in peace. That is, until one brave girl takes stand. Can one act of bravery change everything--including A. Blob? Find out in this second installment of The Blob Series! |
Have you ever stumbled across a song or a poem that perfectly captures your inner thoughts and feelings? Though sometimes viewed as a lesser genre, poetry has an incredible ability to take the most profound truths and put them simply in a way that makes sense. The rhythm and verse have a way of gently speaking to our souls and revealing things we were never able to see before.
I recently came across a poem that beautifully portrayed a unique way of dealing with bullying. The poem is Edwin Markham’s “Outwitted”:
I recently came across a poem that beautifully portrayed a unique way of dealing with bullying. The poem is Edwin Markham’s “Outwitted”:
“He drew a circle that shut me out,
Heretic, rebel, a thing to flout.
But Love and I had the wit to win.
We drew a circle that took him in.”
Heretic, rebel, a thing to flout.
But Love and I had the wit to win.
We drew a circle that took him in.”
| I was first introduced to this poem while reading an interview with Kate Messner, author of the bully-themed picture book Sea Monster and the Bossy Fish. In her interview, Messner connected the poem with the theme of her story: Sometimes people need a little help learning how to be a friend. In the book, the bossy fish exhibits some bullying behavior, but, rather than casting him out, the main character joins with others to create a group that has a place for everyone, even the bossy fish. Much like the speaker in the poem, Sea Monster fought exclusion with what the bossy fish least expected—inclusion. |  Image from Katemessner.com |
Though short and simple, “Outwitted” has undertones and intricacies beneath its surface that make it an excellent choice for opening up conversations on dealing with bullies.
First, the poem is empowering. Rather than encouraging children to ignore those who are hurting them, the speaker takes action, and that action changes things. The one being mocked takes control of the situation, not by fighting back, but by refusing to engage in war at all. Children are often told that it takes two to fight; that if they ignore the bully, the bully will get tired and ignore them too. While this is one version of “not engaging in war”, for those children being pushed down, embarrassed, and tormented every day, waiting the situation out may not seem like a bearable solution. In the poem, however, we are shown a different way of staying out of battle. Yes, the taunted one refuses to taunt back or fight back, but he is not powerless. He takes action, but it is action for the positive.
Along this line of thought, I appreciate that the focus of the poem is on the positive. An article in The Dublin Villager shared the story of Drew Jones, an elementary school art teacher who wanted to find a positive way to educate students about bullying during National Bullying Prevention Month.
Drew Jones with a note from the wall of encouragement. Image from thisweeknews.com He came up with a unique idea: an interactive wall where students could leave notes of encouragement for one another. Using recycled cardboard and paper towel tubes, the students went to work creating a wall that featured multiple slots to house the notes, almost like a wall of mail boxes.
The wall was put up in the school hallway and painted orange, the color of Bullying Awareness. While they worked, the children discussed bullying honestly and openly, sharing their own experiences and coming up with solutions to the issue. Months after its creation, the wall continued to be popular, needing refilled every day. “It’s awesome,” one student stated, “It says I’m special.”
The wall was put up in the school hallway and painted orange, the color of Bullying Awareness. While they worked, the children discussed bullying honestly and openly, sharing their own experiences and coming up with solutions to the issue. Months after its creation, the wall continued to be popular, needing refilled every day. “It’s awesome,” one student stated, “It says I’m special.”
Bullying is a difficult and painful topic and it’s easy to get bogged down in discussing the negative causes and effects of the behavior. While it is important to educate children about the realities of bullying, we must not forget the power of kindness and positivity in stopping the problem at its source. We need to teach our children on how to handle bullying when it occurs, but it is imperative that we also take efforts to cultivate an environment of kindness, empathy, and positivity so that bullying is less likely to occur at all.
Another fantastic aspect of Markham’s poem is its description of love as something powerful. Love is sometimes portrayed as a weakness, or as something that is soft and delicate, but the reality is that love is the most powerful tool that we have and true love is tough. True love changes lives. Many children bully because they don’t feel loved. By loving the bully instead of simply telling him or her to “stop”, we cauterize the wound instead of constantly trying to staunch the blood. It was love that prompted the speaker in the poem to act. It was love that took a situation of pain and separation and turned it into one of forgiveness and togetherness. “Outwitted” teaches children that love is strength, not weakness.
Another fantastic aspect of Markham’s poem is its description of love as something powerful. Love is sometimes portrayed as a weakness, or as something that is soft and delicate, but the reality is that love is the most powerful tool that we have and true love is tough. True love changes lives. Many children bully because they don’t feel loved. By loving the bully instead of simply telling him or her to “stop”, we cauterize the wound instead of constantly trying to staunch the blood. It was love that prompted the speaker in the poem to act. It was love that took a situation of pain and separation and turned it into one of forgiveness and togetherness. “Outwitted” teaches children that love is strength, not weakness.
Markham also draws a connection between love and wit. Not only is love often portrayed as a weakness, it is also frequently connected with foolishness and helplessness. People fall in love, they are blinded by love, or they act unwisely because they are in love. However real, true, love, takes all the wits you have. To love someone means to care for them, to want the best for them, even when they aren’t acting very likeable. True love isn’t always easy and it takes thought and wisdom to foster and maintain. Retaliating, ignoring, or running is easy. Loving someone that is hurting you takes intelligence and clarity of mind. This poem illustrates that.
A unique facet of “Outwitted” is that, unlike many other works of literature, it humanizes the bully. It doesn’t call him names, wish a horrible fate for him, or paint him as a villain. Instead, it portrays the bully as someone who can be loved. Many children bully because they feel inadequate or isolated. By creating a circle that includes the bully, the writer is not only saying “you were wrong about me”, but also, “you were wrong about yourself.”
 A. Blob from the picture book This is A. Blob, by L.A. Kefalos |  |
Teaching children to draw others in builds empathy, a core skill in preventing bullying, and provides a concrete example of empathy for children who bully, as well. Our goal should not be to simply end the bullying, but to mold children into adults that will never bully, who will choose to always consider and value the thoughts of others, and who will always try to love first.
Teaching children to draw others in builds empathy, a core skill in preventing bullying, and provides a concrete example of empathy for children who bully, as well. Our goal should not be to simply end the bullying, but to mold children into adults that will never bully, who will choose to always consider and value the thoughts of others, and who will always try to love first.
The final strength of this poem is that it is visual. Loving someone that is hurting you or trying to view the world from their perspective can be a foreign or even abstract concept, especially to a child. However, even a child can understand the significance of drawing an inclusive circle. This could even be carried into a classroom activity to help illustrate the point.
Image from learnplayimagine.com Have students stand outside on the sidewalk and draw circles around groups of kids. Ask students to describe what is similar about everyone in their circle. Without moving, change the circles (think Venn Diagram). Have the new groups find similarities, illustrating how they all have commonalities if they look for them. Discuss how they felt when they were left out of someone else’s circle or if someone was left out of theirs. Using the poem, connect this literal drawing of circles to the figurative boundaries that are frequently drawn amongst students.
On the surface, Edwin Markham’s “Outwitted” is short and simple, but like most poems, there is a lot going on underneath. Christmas time is filled with songs and rhymes. In this season of goodwill and togetherness, I would encourage you to add this poem into the mix!
Have you read this poem before? What did it say to you? Would you use this to help prevent bullying? Let us know in the comments!
Have you read this poem before? What did it say to you? Would you use this to help prevent bullying? Let us know in the comments!
 |  |  |
 | Looking for some more rhyming verse that speaks about bullying? Check out the beautifully illustrated picture book This is A. Blob by L.A. Kefalos! In this story written in rhyme, a purple blob named A. Blob wreaks havoc on the playground with its bullying ways. But is there more to A. Blob than meets the eye?? |
 | BOOK 2 NOW AVAILABLE! A. Blob is back, and this time it's on a bus! As the slimy bully pokes and pesters the children of Lincoln Elementary School, it seems like they will never be able to ride the bus in peace. That is, until one brave girl takes stand. Can one act of bravery change everything--including A. Blob? Find out in this second installment of The Blob Series! |
About Laughing Leopard Press
Hello! We are Laughing Leopard Press, an independent book publisher from Akron, Ohio. At Laughing Leopard Press, we’re interested in publishing works that contribute to our understanding of this wonderful world. Through this blog, we hope to add to that understanding with commentary on life, literature, and a few things in between. We hope you enjoy the blog and take some time to talk with us in the comments or on our social media sites. Happy reading!
For some more great reading, check out our latest release, This is A. Blob by L. A Kefalos. This is A. Blob is a picture book that deals with the sticky issue of bullying through an unlikely character that is a bit sticky itself! As readers follow the antics of A. Blob, they learn to put themselves in the shoes of another and discover there may be more to this bully than meets the eye…
This is A. Blob by L. A Kefalos. $14.95
$1.00 is donated to charity for each book sold on this site--half to St. Jude's and the other half to PetFix Northeast Ohio.
$1.00 is donated to charity for each book sold on this site--half to St. Jude's and the other half to PetFix Northeast Ohio.
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